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Top Ten Ridiculous Cryptids
DISCLAIMER This article contains innapropriate content. Reader discretion is advised. There are some pretty stupid cryptids out on the internet; these so called cryptids are not allowed on this wiki because they are a violation of the Quality Standards. The cryptids listed below are so low quality, they are not allowed to be created on this wiki. 1.) The X Monkey The''' "X monkey"' is an alleged primate said to live in many forests. Since there is only one and it is said to move around a lot, it is very hard to study. Anatomy The X Monkey is said to have been created in a lab. The scientist who created it is unknown, yet many people believe it was Albert Einstein himself because he was always very uneasy when talking about it. The X monkey is about the size of an orangutan, and half its face is robotic. One of its eyes is robotic, so its eye is always glowing red. A slight fraction of Kenya has claimed to have seen it, and explorers have found a run-down lab in the middle of Kenya and they found blueprints as well as a broken tank with hair. The hair had orangutan DNA, as well as artificial DNA. The blueprints exactly matched the description of the civilians, each and every one. The name at the top of the blueprint said simply, "X". This cryptid is fabricated and its earliest mention was on a cryptid wiki that is now closed by wikia. 2.) Were-Tiger The '''Weretiger' is a type of Werewolf from India, Malaysia, Borneo, China and Japan. In Java, Indonesia the Were-Tiger is a person who possesses a miniature skirt, which is a small skirt. When they put this on, the ‘skirt’ grows larger and turns yellow and black. The person is then transformed into a tiger where he or she must find another victim to devour to release his or her soul. In Malaysia the Were-Tiger consumes livestock especially chickens. If a man vomits feathers it is believed that he is a Were-Tiger and would be given an emetic. 3.) Jeff the Talking Mongoose Jeff , also referred to as the Talking Mongoose or the Dalby Spook, is the name given to a talking mongoose which was claimed to inhabit a farmhouse owned by the Irving family known as Cashen's Gap near the hamlet of Dalby on the Isle of Man... this extra extra clever mongoose was an imaginary companion created by the Irvings' extra, extra clever daughter... So, based on this article, imaginary friends are cryptids! 4.) Giant Flying squid The Giant Flying Squid is a hypothetically living specimen of squids (some specimens, for example can fly: Neon flying squid or Japanese flying squid). Has never been reported. 5.) Stickman When you read this, you will think it's a joke. But you are wrong; dozens of people around the world have seeing stickmen (not shadowmen). Their walk has been described as a lolloping gait, and some reports have noticed them to be scared when seen. Description Stickmen look like any other stickman: one round head, and body, arms and legs made with stripes. Sometimes, they are reported to wear top hats! They are completely two-dimensional, without facial features. 6.) Czechoslovakian Dong Wrangler First reported in the early 1930s by a couple visiting the town of Schniederhof, in the country then known as Czechoslovakia, the Czechoslovakian Dong Wrangler is a creature locally well-known for its ability to wrangle multiple dongs at will. There have been over 60 reported incidents of dong wrangling, from all over Czechoslovakia, but in particular in the Plzen region. 7.) Paul Bunyan Paul Bunyan is a lumberjack figure in North American folklore and tradition. One of the most famous and popular North American folklore heroes, he is usually described as a giant as well as a lumberjack of unusual skill, and is often accompanied in stories by his animal companion, Babe the Blue Ox... Note: this is in no way a cryptid. 8.) Japanese Hairy Fish The Japanese Hairy Fish '''is a mystery fish of Japan. It is said to have a scaly, fish-like body, with a length of 4–5 feet, with human-like hair on the head. Aggressive. Emerges from the water to fight or play? Emits loud cries. Said to attack and kill humans by disowning ? them. It is said to live in an unspecified river in Japan... 9.) Oviedo Dick Monster In the Central Florida town of Oviedo, only 15 minutes away from Orlando. There have been numerous reports and sightings of an alleged cryptid. This creature is said to stand 7 feet tall when fully erect. It has a long phallus shaped body and two round legs (thus the name Dick Monster). Most sightings take place at night in the woods of the still water neighborhood. Where many teenagers go to smoke cannabis. As a matter of fact, all sightings have been from teenage stoners in still water. 10.) Veggieman '''Don't ever trust anyone whose body resembles the green, slender stalk of a plant, and who sucks out your blood through three 7-in-long fingers with needle-like tips and suction cups - that's what I always say! And Jennings Frederick would certainly agree, because he allegedly met just such a being while hunting one day in a West Virginia woodland during July 1968. According to American paranormal researcher Brad Steiger, Frederick suddenly became aware of what he later described as "...a high-pitched jabbering, much like that of a recording running at exaggerated speed", yet which he could somehow understand, and which was informing him that it came in peace but needed medical assistance. At the same moment, Frederick saw beside him the extraordinary quasi-botanical entity described above, with a semi-human face, long ears, yellow slanted eyes, and two stick-like arms. Before he had time to be surprised, however, he felt a pricking sensation in one of his hands, as if it had become entangled in some thorns - but when he looked, he discovered to his horror that the entity was draining blood from it, through its own fingers. Moreover, its eyes suddenly changed colour, becoming bright red and yielding a rotating, hypnotic effect that rendered its blood-sucking operation painless. A minute later, Frederick's enforced transfusion was over, and his mesmerizing recipient fled, bounding away rapidly up a hill, each leap covering a distance exceeding 25 ft. Unfortunately for Frederick, however, once the entity had disappeared, the pain in his hand reappeared. And as he set off back home, he heard a strange humming sound, which he believed to be the entity's craft, transporting it back from whence it had come. Frederick was so disturbed by his grotesque experience that he did not speak about it for several months. Some researchers have speculated that it may be a hoax, but those who have spoken to him seemed convinced that his account, albeit highly unusual, is genuine. Category:Browse Category:Cryptid Wiki Category:Hoax Category:Candidates for deletion Category:Lists